Raising A Special Needs Child: Abandoned Hopes & Dreams

I was told my girls will always be 3 months behind what was typical for their age because they were born 3 months prematurely. At every doctor visit I had to give their actual age and adjusted age, 9 months old, 6 months adjusted. But I was also told that most kids are caught up by two. So I kept going with all the therapy visits and waiting.

When my girls were nearing two years old, it was obvious that something wasn't right. Sure enough, after testing and a visit to the neurologist, one was a typical two-year-old, the other was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy.

As I came to terms with this news and what it would mean for the rest of her life and ours, I realized that there are things she may never be able to do in life. I was crushed. All the joys and future memories made up in my mind's eye were completely shredded. I grieved.

I had abandoned all hope that my daughter would ride a bike...

or swim...

or walk without a limp.

She's 8 years old now and, although I would love to share the contrary, she still can't ride a bike, or swim, or walk without a limp.

But her life is full, magnificently full, of love, friends, family, and joy and that is what counts.

I haven't given up nor am I in denial. She may never swim, or run a marathon, or may need extra breaks on a walk for the rest of her life or even a wheelchair later in life.

I've learned that hopes and dreams don't need to be abandoned, just changed. I've focused on my daughter, my precious, one of a kind, uniquely talented daughter, and everything else falls into place.

Her education, accomplishments, and aspirations are not limited by her disability. They are only limited by her imagination. As long as I and others who love and support her on this adventure called life, her hopes and dreams will not only be fulfilled but will be higher and better than any dream or hope I had for her.

She's comfortable in the water without a vest on, she rides a horse, she takes hikes in the woods, she's in gymnastics class. She has made tremendous progress and we will continue to push her to her greatest potential. But her value and worth as a person will not be tied to whether or not she can do these things.

So, If anything needs to be abandoned, abandon "typical" and "normal". Abandon "ideal" and "perfect".

My only hope for both of my girls is that they grow to know and love the Lord and have courage enough to follow the path He has set before them. Everything else is a bonus.

What brings your child joy? Does she even care to learn how to ride a bike? Are his interests and dreams for his life taken into consideration? Is she being pushed to her greatest potential?